I just recently got to join my in-laws on a trip to Arizona, to spend time with family. I actually have never been on a plane. I'm 29 and still had not conquered this feat. A little ridiculous I know, but I'm a small town South Dakota girl, and that is just how we roll in this neck of the woods. The trip was amazing and there wasn't a fear of flying in me as much as an adrenalin rush. After going through the last year, I think the biggest fear that I had was the fear of the unknown, the fear that I'm actually doing something completely out of my comfort zone.
When your every move is guarded because of an illness, it is hard to just one day decide to step out of the box. My family and husband are constantly watching over me, and I know it is all for the best, but every move is carefully guarded, because a little over a year at this time, we were not sure if I was going to be here or not. I have always been a pretty independent character and grew up very tough, and humble, and when that is taken away from a person, it feels like their world is ending. Everything has changed in a little bit of time, and at times it can be fearful not only for my family but for me as well.
After flying it wasn't the fear of flying it was the fear inside me, because something was different, something wasn't as guarded, and I felt the freest I have been in a while. I know longer want the same things I wanted a year ago. I want happy, I want beautiful, and I want me. I actually for once in my life like the person that I have become, I like that I have a whole lot of sass. I love that I am able to take risks, and have fun, and I love that I'm still HERE!
